"I just couldn't be with anyone who doesn't care of their body and is overweight. That just.... disturbs me."
I sat looking at him trying to keep a semblance of control on my face. Surely he did not just say that! Here was this guy trying to impress me and he makes a comment like that. Granted, he is very fit and works out several times a week. He has always made fitness a priority in his life and that's great, I respect him for that. But that comment really took me a back and made me think. Yes I like to care of my body and stay fit. But I don't want to be with a guy who, if I suddenly gain a lot of weight, doesn't want to be with me anymore. That also shows, to me at least, that one of his main focuses is on how I look. Which while for the moment that's a compliment because he wants to be with me, but it's not something to base a long term relationship on obviously.
What do y'all think? What would you have done if someone had said this to you?
Do you find yourself mainly being with people of a similar "fitness level?"
How much does health and fitness play a part in your relationship?
Comments (2)
Oh boy ... That would have probably earned him a kick right in his ... Uhm. Yeah.
But, since I have been a "chubster" in varying degrees all my life, it is unlikely that a guy like that would go for me anyways. Which also makes it pretty unlikely that my husband married me just for my looks.
It surprises me how shallow people can be sometimes. Okay, I lied. It really doesn't surprise me much any more, but it did when I was younger.
I once had a guy in a bar say to me "You know, if you lost twenty pounds you'd be beautiful". Which prompted me to say "You know, if I lost twenty pounds I'd be outta your league, buddy" and then walk away to a guy that appreciated my curves. Heh.
I think there are people out there that put way too much emphasis on looks - male and female. I feel sorry for them. Yeah, they look great ... But they miss so much by having such tunnel vision.
A lot of men do care how women take care of their bodies. The thing is that whoever you decide to date shouldn't have that as his main focus. He should care about what you think of your body, however, because it shows he cares not just of your appearance but of your overall health. I've read a book called For Girls Only or something like that..and it says that most men are going to feel this way...not to be stereotypical.
My husband doesn't care about my weight (I am overweight but working on losing) yet he is concerned highly about my health. He doesn't make me feel bad about the extra chub around my waist, but instead just encourages me to do what I need to do in order to get healthy. He doesn't have the weight problems, but I try to be just as concerned about his health, in that I tell him when I know he is eating too much of the wrong foods that could affect his health later down the road.
No, men should not be as harsh when speaking to women about their weight and outlook on health, because it is a delicate subject for us girls... but I do think that they should have some level of concern.
I don't know this boy that you are speaking of...maybe he didn't mean it as an insult or that he is really machismo about "how his woman should look". I don't know for sure. But like I said, I do know that men want their women to care.... and more importantly than any of that God wants us to take care of our temples so that we may live lives that are happy and healthy with our loved ones and to be used in the advancing of His kingdom.